Lucy's Vampire Love
by Smarty 94
Summary: Upon meeting a vampire; Lucy Loud starts to fall in love with the vampire, but a vampire hunter tries to put a stop to the vampire. Meanwhile; Wart mistakenly conjures up a demon and tries to stop it for good.
1. Van Vampire

With Leo and Lucy; the two were driving towards a park and parked the car before getting out.

"To think that there's going to be some type of poetry book signing in a park." said Lucy.

"Poet's know their stuff." said Leo.

He looked up and saw something before pulling Lucy back before a mortar landed on the ground, exploding.

The two became shocked.

"What...was...that?" said Lucy.

"I think we hit another Team Edward and Team Jacob battle, only this time it's similar to World War 2." said Leo.

Lucy is shocked.

"Really?" said Lucy.

"Yep, they're still going at it, even though it ended with that Twilight Saga girl choosing Edward." Said Leo.

Lucy just nodded.

"I see that." Said Lucy.

The two then saw lasers going by.

"Oh good, now they've got Star Wars and Star Trek weapons." Said Leo.

"All we need now are some weapons from the old days." Lucy said before pulling out a flintlock pistol, "Like this flintlock pistol."

Leo turned to Lucy and became shocked.

"Why do you have a civil war weapon?" said Leo.

 **Flashback**

In Camo's room in Meek's mansion; Lucy was inspecting tons of old school weapons and picked up the same flintlock pistol before walking off.

 **End Flashback**

Leo was shocked.

"Yep, that's what happened." Said Lucy.

"What's going on here?" A Voice said.

Leo and Lucy turned to see an eight-year-old boy with pale skin, black hair, and dressed like a biker.

Lucy became stunned.

"What has the world come to, always fighting about if Bella will end up with Edward or Jacob even though it has already been settled? I should have just stuck with writing Harry Potter fanfiction, people never got a ton of bull from that stuff." Said the kid.

"Agreed." said lucy who blushed.

Leo saw this and is shocked.

"Wow, this is unusual." said Leo.

"So what's your name?" Asked Lucy

"Names Van Pajamas." said the kid known as Van Pajamas.

Leo became confused.

"Pa-jam-as?" said Leo.

"Pa-Jah-mahs." said Van.

"Huh, kind of like how that Tony Pajamas character pronounces his name in Amanda Show." Said Leo.

 **Cutaway Gag**

With Duncan who was dressed up like a greaser; he was talking to a very confused Skinner.

"Okay, who're you claiming to be in order to get out of trouble this time?" said Skinner.

"Tony Pajamas." Said Duncan.

"Pa-jam-as?" said Skinner.

"Pa-jah-mahs." Said Duncan.

Skinner groaned.

"Kids these days." Said Skinner.

 **End Cutaway Gag**

"At least people were smart enough not to give him any lip." Said Leo.

Lucy nodded.

"Anywho, I'm here to put an end to these Edward and Jacob battles." Said Van.

"How do you intend on doing that?" said Lucy.

The kid walked in between the whole battle.

"CAN I HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION PLEASE!?" yelled Van.

Everyone stopped fighting and turned to Van.

"This'll come as a shock to you." Said Van.

Then in a puff of smoke; he turned into a bat.

Everyone screamed in fear before running off.

Leo became very shocked.

"Okay, my day just went from great to very messed up." Leo said before pulling out a jar of garlic, "Good thing I bring garlic with me at all times."

Van however turned back to his original form, grabbed the garlic and ate it shocking Leo.

"Cant believe everything you read on the internet." said Van.

"Wait, vampires are actually immune to garlic?" said Leo.

"Nope, but my family has been living on a garlic farm for many centuries, hence my immunity." Said Van.

Lucy became confused.

"How long have you been on a garlic farm?" said Lucy.

"Eighty years." Said Van.

Leo and Lucy are shocked.

"Yeah that shocks all my friends when I tell them that." said Van.

However in the distance; a sniper scope crosshair aimed at Van.

"That's right you vampire, stay in the area so that I can leave a small tracking device on you." said a voice.

Then a silenced gun shot sound was heard followed by a small device attatching itself to Van's back which no one noticed.

Van turned around.

"Was that a bug?" He asked.

Lucy blushed.

"No idea." She said.

"Anyway how about you two stay with my family?" Van asked. "Don't worry about us sucking blood we drink blood substitute."

"What kind of substitution?" said Leo.

Van then picked up a squirrel and bit down on it before sucking it's blood.

Leo became shocked and started walking away.

Van saw this and laughed.

"Don't worry we also drink Tomato Juice." said Van. "We keep animals on the farm as well."

"He's already gone." said Lucy.

Van looked around and sure enough, Leo wasn't in the area.

"Huh, neat." said Van.

"But do you really drink animal blood?" asked Lucy

"Yeah, it's kind of a whole thing for the blood substitue." said Van.

"Why?" said Lucy.

"Well...my family may have been responsible for the death of the first president of the United States of America." said Van.

Lucy became shocked.

"Your family killed George Washington?" said Lucy.

"No, they caused him to accidentally suffer Epiglottitis and Hypovolemia shock. After that my parents sucked all his blood after his burial and found that human blood was way to spicy for their taste." said Van.

Lucy nodded.

"Heck I don't even know why one of them tried to kill my kind." said Van.

"You mean Abraham Lincoln?" Asked Lucy.

"Yep." said Van.

"Didn't he come fifteen presidents after George Washington?" said Lucy.

"Of course he did." said Van, "Now come on, time's a wasting, my family has to sleep in the daytime, we never have any sun block when we need it."

Lucy smiled.

"I have Sun Block." She said.

Van is shocked.

"You do?" He asked.

"What sane person doesn't?" said Lucy.

"I can think of several." said Van.


	2. Demon Releasing

In Mewni; Star was chasing a humanoid ostirich who was running with several gems and amulets.

Meek in his armor and Wart were following close by.

"Wait a minute, you called us over here to report a tresspasser on Castle Mewni property, and this guy was nowhere near the castle or the kingdom whatsover and you've got us chasing him around due to stealing tons of amulets and gems?" said Meek.

"Exactly." said Star.

"You know on Earth, you could get a year in jail for filing a false report." said Wart.

Star growled at that.

"Don't start." said Star.

The three continued to follow the ostrich.

"Try and catch me Butterfly and friends." the ostrich said sounding like Amber Montana.

She then pulled out one of the gems and held it behind herself.

"Flame aletheo." said the ostrich.

Tons of fireballs then fired out of the gem.

Meek is shocked.

"Oh boy." said Meek.

He and the others dodged the fireballs.

Star held her wand up.

"Narwal blast." said Star.

Then narwals were blasted out of the wand, but the ostrich dodged the sea life.

"Dumb bitch." said the female ostrich.

She then ran across a bridge before pulling out a knife and cutting the rope, causing the bridge to break apart.

"Ha, no one can get across that." said the ostrich.

However; a pair of cuffs were slapped on her wrists.

She became shocked and saw Meek aiming his repulsor rays, Star aiming her wand, and Wart aiming a pistol at her.

"Good thing Star called us for backup." said Wart, "Seeing as how Bounty Hunter can fly."

Star nodded.

Later; the three returned to Castle Mewni with their prisoner.

The three then entered the throne room and tossed the ostrich on the ground.

"We've got her, and all the gems and amulets she stole." said Meek.

Wart noticed one amulet that was shaped like a demon and picked it up before putting it in his jacket without anyone noticing.

"Thank you for your services." said King Butterfly.

"Well we have been helping out ever since the failed attempt at your life by Swiss Army." said Meek.

"Boy do I hate that guy." said Wart.

"Who doesn't hate him?" said Star.

"Take that bird away." said King Butterfly.

Two guards appeared and dragged the ostrich off.

"And as for the two of you, you're welcome to have dinner with us if you please." said Queen Butterfly.

"Gee your highness, I like the offer, but-"Wart said before Meek covered his mouth.

"We'll take you up on it." Meek said before glaring at his best friend, "It's very rude to refuse an offer from royalty."

Queen Butterfly smiled.

"Thanks Meek. Also if you all want you all can stay the night." said the Queen.

"Thanks for the offer, but." Wart said only for Meek to silence him again.

"We'll gladly stay for the night, besides, we've gotten you out of trouble many times." said Meek.

Wart just growled

Later; a huge feast was set up.

Meek back in his everyday clothes minus the jacket was lifting tons of barbell weights.

The King saw this and was impressed and shocked.

"Impressive Meek." said King Butterfly

"Yeah I know, I've been doing this since my return to civilization." said Meek.

He then set the weights down and flexed his muscles.

"The reason for my athleticness is because I work out a lot." said Meek.

Queen Butterfly nodded

"Most impressive." said Queen Butterfly.

"You know, we could use a guy like you around here, you know as motivation for my guards." said King Butterfly.

Meek became confused.

"Why?" said Meek.

"Moral is down." said King Butterfly.

"Why don't you just put up a suggestion box?" said Meek.

The King and Queen are shocked.

"Huh that's a good idea. Plus we could see what the guards want to have and do." said the King.

"It would be fair." said the Queen

"Just try not to kill anyone who makes a suggestion." said Meek, "That always leads to a bad issues, like on Starkiller Base."

 **Cutaway Gag**

A stormtrooper was walking around Starkiller Base.

"This is murder." said the stormtrooper.

He saw a suggestion box and walked over to it before writing something down and placing the paper in the box.

Kylo Ren with his helmet on then appeared.

"Hey, put a suggestion in the box?" said Kylo.

The trooper became shocked.

"Aren't these things supposed to be annonymous?" said the Stormtrooper.

"Sure, but anyone of these could be yours." said Kylo.

He then opened the box and pulled out the suggestion the trooper wrote which was the only suggestion.

"Moral is low, so I'm just putting this here." said Kylo.

He then read the suggestion.

"Less shifts for everyone." said Kylo.

"Well sir, that's because-"the trooper said before an angry Kylo aimed a blaster at his head.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" yelled Kylo.

The trooper became shocked.

"OH SHIT!" yelled the trooper.

Kylo then shot the trooper, causing him to explode.

 **End Cutaway Gag**

"Yep, that guy has some serious anger issues." said Meek.

Wart was sitting at a table staring at a chef.

"So you just cook meat everyday?" said Wart.

"Yeah that's how things are. The king really has quite the appetite." said the chef.

"I see." said Wart and smirked. "Let me cook."

The chef became shocked.

"You want to do some cooking?" said the chef.

"Yeah, I need to get some vegan inside of me." Wart said before shoving the chef out of the way and walking off, "Now move over Chef Gordon Ramsey."

Later; Wart appeared at the table with the others carrying a tray under a dome.

"I've got something special." said Wart.

King Butterfly started drooling.

"Come to poppa." said King Butterfly.

Wart removed the tray; revealing a very ugly pizza that had tofu in place of cheese, some sliced pickles, tomatoes, brocolli, and pinaple.

The king became shocked.

"WHAT THE DONKEY BALLS IS THIS SHIT!?" yelled King Butterfly.

"A vegan pizza." said Wart.

"It looks like someone vomited in front of me." said King Butterfly.

Meek was using his smart phone and placed a KFC order.

Then a portal opened up and a five dollar Chicken Tenders meal appeared before the portal closed.

"Normally I'd be one who wouldn't complain about anyone's cooking, but this really takes the cake." said Meek.

"Congradulations you swine, you ruined pizza, first the Hawaiian's, the Californians, and now the pig." said King Butterfly.

Wart became mad as Meek turned to the king and started waving his hand over his neck in shock.

"Run that by me again?" said Wart.

"I said you were a pig." said King Butterfly.

Wart then charged towards the king but was restraint by Meek and Star.

"I'll grind your bones down to make my bread." said Wart.

"Take it easy there giant." said Meek, "You attack royalty, even if they called you something you don't like to be called, you'll get the death penalty."

Wart turned to Meek.

"Don't go all judge and jury on me." said Wart.

"It's for your own good." said Meek.

Wart then got out of Star and Meek's grip and charged the king once more; however a beam of light came out of his jacket, shocking everyone.

Then a being that looked like a Metroid in it's final evolution stage appeared and roared.

The group became more shocked.

"Wart, what did you do?" said Meek.

"I have no idea." said Wart.

The monster then shot out a laser beam from it's mouth which then destroyed two thrones.

"NO, NOT THE THRONE ROOM!" yelled King Butterfly.

The monster then shot another laser beam which destroyed an entire court yard.

"NO, NOT THE COURT YARD!" yelled King Butterfly.

The monster then fired one more laser which destroyed a My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Movie poster.

"NO, NOT THE MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC MOVIE POSTER!" yelled King Butterfly.

Everyone turned to the king.

"Seriously?" said Wart.

"IM A BRONY AND IM NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT!" shouted King Butterfly

"Let's worry about that later and focus on getting out of this castle." said Star.

"Good call." said Queen Butterfly.

Everyone then ran out of the castle just before it crumbled to the ground.

The group looked at the castle and King Butterfly got on his knees.

"YOU MANIAC, YOU DESTROYED THE CASTLE, DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!" yelled King Butterfly.

"At least it isn't the Statue of Liberty." said Wart.

Meek smacked Wart on the back of his head.

Then the same ostrich emerged from the rubble confused.

"What happened?" said the ostrich.

She then noticed the rubble before chuckling.

"You guys really messed up this time." said the ostrich.


	3. Van's Farm

With Lucy and Van; the two were approaching a farm.

"If I'm to guess, I'd say this is your parents garlic farm." said Lucy.

Van nodded.

"Of course it is." said Van.

Lucy nodded.

"Impressive." said Lucy

"I know my Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great Vampa started this when he was 11 years old." explained Van.

Lucy was shocked.

"For real?" said Lucy.

"Yep, the odd thing was that he was still a baby at that age." said Van.

"I see." said Lucy.

"He came up with the idea that if he were living in an area with tons of garlic, then he and his family would develope an immunity to the bad breath inducing vegetable." said Van.

Lucy nodded.

"He became famous for his Garlic Food." said Van

"What were they?" said Lucy.

"Well, there was his garlic bread, garlic gumbo, garlic pizza-"Van started.

" _Thirty minutes later._ " said a voice.

"And finally garlic ice cream which turned out to be a flop to children, but a favorite to pirates." said Van.

Lucy was shocked.

"For real?" said Lucy.

"Those guys really like gross stuff." said Van.

Lucy nodded

"Okay." said Lucy.

The two entered the barn.

"I'M HOME!" yelled Van.

Then a vampire like Great Dane tackled Van to the ground and started licking his face.

Lucy is shocked.

"Wow." said Lucy.

"Stop, stop Count Dogula." said Van.

The dog stopped licking the very old boy before turning to Lucy.

"Dogula, this is our guest Lucy. She'll be staying with us for the night." said Van.

The Dog went to Lucy sniffed her and licked her.

"Nice to meet you." said Count Dugula.

Lucy just stared at the dog.

"Really, nothing?" said Dogula.

"I've seen some weird stuff." said Lucy.

Dogula did some thinking.

"Alright." said Dogula.

Soon a cat and Macaw arrived and saw Lucy.  
"Who's The Girl?" Asked the Macaw

"Just a human guest." said Dogula.

The two animals are shocked.

"HUMAN!" The cat shouted and ran and went to a case that said: Incase of human Break Glass. He then broke the glass and pressed the red button

Then some type of laser beam bars surrounded Lucy.

"Prepare for containment." said the macaw.

"Alright alright, hold containment." said Van.

The bird and cat sighed.

"We never get to use any of this stuff." said the cat.

"Put a sock in it Purrula." said the macaw.

The cat turned to the Macaw

"Don't push it Peckula." said the cat known as Purrula.

"You know I'm still in the room right?" said Lucy.

The animals turned to Lucy.

"Oh yeah." said Count Peckula, "Make yourself at home, the parents are in Transylvania, and we'll have to sleep as soon as the moon sets."

"No need I have Sunscreen." said Lucy.

The animals became confused.

"Sun screen?" said Dogula.

"Some great invention to keep the sun from harming us." said Van.

The animals nodded.

"That's fair." said Purrula.

Outside the castle; a shadowy figure was sitting next to a satelite and was looking at a radar.

"Perfect, the opportunity to strike." said the figure.


	4. Banishment

Back in Mewni the next day; the group was interrogating the ostrich.

Meek was in his armor.

"Start talking, what were you doing with an amulet that was holding that thing?" said Meek.

"You should be asking why I had a ton of amulets and gems." said the ostrich.

Wart then aimed his pistol at the bird.

"You'd better give us something we can use." said Wart.

"The monster you saw was a mystical one." said the ostrich.

Everyone was confused

"What kind?" said King Butterfly.

"Centuries ago, a demon was unleashed to destroy all dimensions in existance. Luckily; it was trapped in the amulet that was in posession until now." said the ostrich, "I stole the amulet to unleash it again to destroy it for good, and the other gems to find the only known weapon in order to defeat it."

"So you doomed all of Mewni just to destroy a demon of untold power?" said Wart.

The bird nodded.

Wart pulled his sword out and beheaded the Ostrich.

The others turned to Wart in shock.

"What the hell was that all about?" said King Butterfly.

"What?" said Wart.

"You beheaded an ostrich who could have told us everything." said Queen Butterfly.

Wart scoffed.

"Relax, she'll still be alive for a few seconds." said Wart.

"You're thinking about chickens." said Meek.

Wart became shocked.

"Aw crap." said Wart.

The headless ostrich then fell to the ground dead.

Wart gulped and the Queen turned to him.

"YOU ARE HEREBY BANISHED FROM OUR WORLD FOREVER!" shouted the Queen.

Wart snorted.

"Yeah like I'm going to obey that." said Wart.

In Wart's apartment; Fishfins was doing work on the computer when a portal opened up and Wart went flying out of it before landing on his bed.

The portal then closed up.

"Back so soon?" said Fishfins.

"Ugh, I basically doomed all of Mewni and was banished for life." said Wart, "And to make sure I did comply to it, the king and queen took my dimensional scissors."

Fishfins became shocked.

"Wow, that's the fifth dimension you've been banned from this month." said Fishfins.

"I was banned from the fifth dimension." said Wart.

 **Flashback**

Mr Mxyzptlk was in a cell as Wart was watching him.

"Will you let me out of here early? I promise not to cause any trouble or go after the guy who caused me to say my name backwards in England." said Mxyzptlk.

Wart snorted.

"No way, you'll just cause trouble on Earth and try to dispose of Leni Loud." said Wart.

He then became shocked and covered his mouth.

"Leni Loud? That sounds like a girls name." said Mxyzptlk.

He then chuckled.

"As soon as my ninty days are up, I'll go after here." said Mxyzptlk.

 **End Flashback**

Wart started looking at tons of ammunition and packing it into pistol clips.

"You're going to go back to Mewni to set things right even after you were banned from life aren't you?" said Fishfins.

"Exactly." said Wart.

"But you don't have any dimensional scissors, and I gave mine up just because I really enjoy this world." said Fishfins.

Wart chuckled.

"Don't worry, I've got an idea." said Wart.

Later; he walked into the Bounty Cave from the vehicle entry way.

He then noticed what looked like the 2011 version of the Thundertank.

"Okay then, one problem solving coming up." said Wart, "Good thing I had Meek's phone tapped."

He then climbed under the tank and grabbed onto it.

Then a laser zapped the tank before it disappeared.

The tank then appeared in front of Meek's group.

"Here we go, my latest weapon; the Bounty Tank." said Meek.

Everyone is shocked.

"Whoa, that's nice." said King Butterfly.

"This is a state of the art tank, built to endure anything from rocks, bad weather, lasers, bullets, etcetera." said Meek.

Queen Butterfly smiled.

"This should be good." said Queen Butterfly.

"It is." said Meek, "In so many ways."

He walked over to the headless ostrich and pulled out some stuff before pulling out a map and looking at it.

"According to this, she was going to head for a temple just outside of Mewni police jurisdiction." said Meek.

"Then let's get a move on." said Star.

The group then entered the tank as Meek began to start it up.

"Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed, stereo system ready to play some music." said Meek.

He then pushed the play button on his tank controls and Stan Bush's The Touch started playing.

The king and queen became confused.

"What is this song?" said King Butterfly.

"I don't know, all I know is that it came from the eighties." said Meek.

He then typed down some coordinates.

"Brace yourselves, for it's going to be a bumpy ride." said Meek.


	5. Stopping a Vampire Hunter

Back at Van's farm; Van and Lucy were sitting on a bench.

"No kidding you have that many sisters and 1 brother?" asked Van.

"Yes and My brother and I are very close." said Lucy.

"Wow and what's next you like reading Pony books?" asked Van

Lucy nodded.

"Whoo, and I thought CBS creating that Big Bang Theory spin off Little Sheldon was weird." said Van.

Lucy chuckled.

"You should meet some of the people I'm crashing with. The owners are a rabbit, a sea sponge who looks like a kitchen sponge, and a sorceress. In fact one of my roommates is a-"Lucy said before noticing a red laser dot aimed at Van's forehead, "Laser pointer."

Van became confused.

"Laser pointer?" said Van.

"Your forehead." said Lucy.

Van then ducked out of the way before a bullet could hit him and pulled Lucy down as well before hiding behind the bench.

"Not another vampire hunter." said Van, "This happens every week, a vampire hunter shows up to put an end to us, and we've done nothing wrong except trying to live our lives in peace."

"I believe you." said Lucy

Then some type of speaker system landed in front of the two.

" _Alright vampire, listen good, release the human you've got hostage and just stay in the open._ " said a voice from the speaker.

Lucy groaned.

"No one's being held hostage." said Lucy.

" _Yeah right, what's next a crate holding a teenager who can turn into different aliens and a weird creature who doesn't even have a neck appearing?_ " said the same voice.

Sure enough; a wooden crate landed in front of the group, shocking everyone.

The top was popped open and Ben and Ray exited the crate.

"Who would have thought that climbing into a crate full of lion carcassess would get us back to America in no time?" said Ray.

"No idea." said Ben.

"WHAT THE HELL!" shouted the voice. "WHATS NEXT A BUFF HOUSE KEEPER AND A MUTANT TURTLE!"

"Yeah we know people like that." said Lucy.

The same voice groaned.

"WELL THAT VAMPIRE WILL DIE AND ILL SET YOU FREE YOUNG LADY!" shouted the voice.

"Look pal, why do you want to harm vampire's so much?" said Ray.

"Because I'm a vampire hunter for life. I come from a long line of vampire hunters, what else am I going to do for a living? It's the only thing I can put on a resume." said the same voice.

Ray did some thinking.

"You know my girlfriend's mother's sister's nephew's cousin's former roommate is hiring people at a quarry, can you work heavy machinery?" said Ray.

Ben became confused.

"Girlfriend's mother's sister's nephew's cousin's former roommate?" said Ben, "That doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah I sat through the Star Wars Christmas special once, and it was very terrible." said Van.

The Voice is shocked.

"Huh I guess I could do that." He said.

Ray nodded.

"Alright, now come out in the open with no weapons out." said Ray.

Then a figure who looked like a young Obi Wan Kenobi in only a dark hooded robe appeared.

"Happy now?" said the man.

Later; the man who was now dressed in a business suit exited a trailer where the others were waiting.

"Got the job." said the man.

Everyone smiled.

"Good thing to, I would have went Rath and given you a beating if you were armed." said Ben.

Ray scoffed.

"You couldn't even get Humungosaur if you were hoping for Molestache." said Ray.

Ben became mad.

"Shut up." said Ben.

"As of today, the vampire hunting legacy of the Lacy family ends here." said the former vampire hunter.

Everyone became shocked.

"Wait, your family's name is Lacy?" said Lucy.

"Yeah it's kind of weird." said the man whose last name was Lacy.

"I've got five mother's who're all fairies, no proper limbs, and was in the country of Ras Al Ghul where in marriage only the bride's consent is needed to wed people." said Ray, "You call that weird?"

"Good point." said the Man.


	6. Death of a Demon

Back in Mewni; the Bounty Tank appeared in front of a temple before stopping.

Meek, Star, King and Queen Butterfly exited the tank and looked at the temple.

"This must be the place." said Meek.

The Butterfly family nodded.

"It sure speaks." said King Butterfly.

"Yep, it's saying stay out." said Meek.

He started walking to the temple.

"Star, with me." said Meek.

Her parents looked at Meek mad.

"Don't worry, the tank is heavily armed with tons of weapons." said Meek, "Just read the instruction manual if anything goes wrong."

Everyone just stared at him.

"Alright then, keep Star." said Meek.

Little did any of them notice was that Wart climbed out from under the tank and took a picture of the temple before he snuck into the temple.

The warthog then pulled out his phone and started texting some numbers before typing down 'Portal inside the temple.'

Then a portal opened and Marco emerged from it.

However; Jackie, Cyborg, and Sylvia emerged shortly afterwards.

Wart groaned.

"Great, you tell the whole planet?" said Wart, "My ass is on the line here."

The others became confused.

"How is your ass on the line?" said Sylvia.

"I'm currently banned for life from this dimension for killing someone who stole a ton of gems and amulets-"Wart began before time passed and everyone was very bored, "So now I'm hiding out in this dimension so that I can set things right."

His friends nodded.

"Makes sense." said Cyborg, "But we had to put our halloween plans on the side for you?"

Wart nodded.

"Inside this temple is a weapon that can hopefully dispose of the demon I released by mistake." said Wart.

The group heard something and ran off.

"We got to work fast, the quicker I get the weapon, the quicker we can get that demon into our own dimension and dispose of it." said Wart.

"And if the king and queen figure out you're here?" said a voice.

The group became shocked and saw Meek looking at them.

"Next time you stow away into a dimension, try not to hide under a tank." said Meek.

"You knew?" said Wart.

Meek nodded.

"He's good." said Jackie.

"So what now, you go outside and alert the Butterfly's to my presence?" said Wart.

"Nope, I ain't no rat. Also I would never rat you out, you're my best friend." said Meek.

Wart smiled.

"Now let's find that weapon." said Meek.

The group ran off.

Outside the temple; the Butterfly's were in the Bounty Tank playing with a deck of cards.

"Who would have thought that Meek had tons of activities in his tank?" said King Butterfly.

"Agreed." said his wife. "So you think we should Tell Meek we know that Wart is here?"

Star scoffed.

"Knowing him, he probably figured it out already." said Star.

"We will make sure Wart is never to return even if he does be successful." saos the King as he ate a pig leg.

Queen Butterfly looked out the tank and became shocked.

"Hopefully if we even live and don't become poo." said Queen Butterfly.

The other's looked outside and became shocked.

They were looking at the same demon that Wart released.

"I think I just made a poo." said King Butterfly.

The other Butterfly's backed away from the king.

The monster saw the tank and approached it before biting on it.

"OH GOD, IT'S JUST LIKE JURASSIC PARK, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" yelled King Butterfly.

"WERE GONNA DIE, WERE GONNA DIE, IM GONNA THROW UP AND THEN WERE GONNA DIE!" shouted Queen Butterfly

Star saw a button labeled 'Automatic ass kicking' and pushed it.

Then the Bounty Tank turned to the monster and rammed into it's legs, causing it to fall on it's back.

The monster then exploded

"Yes." said Star.

The mosnter however grew giant.

"Crap." said Star.

Back in the temple; the group continued through the temple but heard some rumbling sounds.

"What was that?" said Jackie.

Red goggles appeared on Meek's mask and he saw the now giant monster.

"The demon that was released." said Meek, "Cyborg, you and me will go outside to confront the creature. Wart, continue on with the others."

Wart nodded.

"On it." said Wart.

Meek and Cyborg ran out of the temple as Wart, Marco, Jackie, and Sylvia continued on through the temple.

The four then reached a room and saw a sword that seemed similar to the Sword of Omen's in a stone.

"That looks promising." said Sylvia.

Wart walked to the sword and grabbed it.

"For all the people of Mewni, I shall use this sword to vanquish the beast." said Wart.

He then removed the sword from the stone without any trouble.

"Finally, now I can take care of this problem." said Wart.

The other's looked shocked and Wart noticed it.

"What?" said Wart.

"You've got another problem to fix." said Jackie.

Wart looked at the sword, only to see that the blade was the size of a dagger.

He became shocked.

"You've got to be shitting me." said Wart, "I've got to use a toy version of Excalibur to kill that demon?"

"Well look at it this way, at least you didn't break a sword." said Marco.

Wart approached Marco and kneed him in the balls.

Marco groaned and grabbed his privates.

"Put a sock in it you nacho loving illegal immigrant." said Wart.

Jackie then grabbed Wart's right arm and dislocated his shoulder.

"How's about you shut it." said Jackie.

Wart screamed in pain.

"You are surprisingly strong." said Wart.

"Shut the hell up." said Jackie. "I also heard what you say about star and her spieces and you deserved to be banished."

"You tell him sister." said Sylvia.

"Thank you." said Jackie.

Outside the temple; Star was using her wand against the demon.

"This magic isn't even working." said Star.

The demon was then shot in the eye and saw Cyborg aiming one of his arms at the beast.

"TAKE THIS DEMON SCUM!" He shouted

The monster roared and stomped towards Cyborg.

The metahuman ran off.

The monster roared before being hit by a barage of bullets.

It saw Wart firing his pistol at him.

"Come on you bitch." said Wart.

The monster roared and started approaching Wart who went over to a canyon.

"NOW DIAZ!" yelled Wart.

Marco who was on top of the canyon jumped down with his dimensional scissors out and started cutting a portal open.

The monster went into the portal followed by Wart.

Marco then closed the portal.

At the grand canyon; the demon and Wart emerged from the portal that Marco cut open before it closed up.

"Alright, no citizen's in the area. This'll make things easier." said Wart.

He then aimed at the monster.

"I don't care if a dagger is what's needed to kill this thing, I'll just do it with my own guns." said Wart.

He fired his guns at the Demon but he survived and shot a laser at the guns destroying them

"Aw crap." said Wart.

He was then stepped on by the demon before it began to walk off.

The gem in the dagger like sword started glowing and Wart noticed it.

He picked up the sword and looked into the gem which then zapped his eyes.

"Of course, I can see it now." said Wart.

The gem stopped zapping his eyes.

"Hey demon." said Wart.

The demon turned to Wart in confusion.

"Time to meet your maker." said Wart.

He then held the sword up and the blade started glowing before making swishing noises.

"Thunder, thunder, thunder, thundersword, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Wart yelled.

The dagger then grew to sword size and stopped glowing.

The demon roared and charged towards the warthog.

Wart however threw the sword into the demons mouth and the demon exploded.

"How do you like me now bitch?" said Wart.

He walked over to the now deceased demon and reached into it's mouth and pulled out the sword.

"Thundersword, you've made my day. I no longer care about being banned from several dimensions as long as I have a powerful sword." said Wart.

He then pulled out his old sword.

"Sorry dude, but you're old news." said Wart.

He tossed the sword and it landed into a stone.

"JACKASS!" the sword thought.

Wart turned to his new sword.

"And as for you, you're sticking around." said Wart.

He then placed the sword in his jacket.

"Yes." thought the sword.

When Wart got outside he saw a very angry royal family.

The warthog then shook his head.

"Typical." said Wart.


	7. Halloween

With Lucy and Van; the two were on a park bench looking at different costumed children.

"The great thing about this holiday is that I can go into public as what I am and no one will be able to know who I am." said Van.

Lucy smiled.

"That and you made some friends." said Lucy.

The two then saw Ben and Ray bobbing for apples.

Ray pulled his own head out with his hands, revealing an apple in his mouth.

"Victory." said Ray.

Ben came out with two apples in his mouth

"You were saying?" said Ben.

Ray ate his apple, core and all.

Ben became shocked.

"That's right, I ate the core." said Ray.

"Oh god." said Ben.

Lucy chuckled.

"That's Ray for you." She said.

"Yep." said Van, "And to think that a guy like that has five mothers."

"You should meet some of my Mobian roommates." said Lucy, "One of them's actually dating one of my sisters."

Van is shocked.

"You don't say?" He said

"Yep." said Lucy, "It's very weird."

In Wart's apartment; the warthog was checking out his many pistols and revolvers.

He picked up a big pistol and aimed it.

"Good thing I still have my gun permit, but a shame that my new sword was confiscated." said Wart.

However; a portal opened up and his new sword in dagger size was thrown and landed on his desk.

The warthog noticed it as the portal closed up and saw a note on it before reading this.

"This damn sword kept on electrocuting me when I held onto it. It's your problem now, signed King Butterfly." Wart read.

He then saw something else.  
"P.S. We used a spell on the portal to our world to block you out permanently so you'll never come back to our world again." Read Wart and grumbled. "How do you like that I saved them and I'm still banished from their home."

He then picked up his sword and chuckled.

"Still worth it." said Wart.


End file.
